Saturday, April 23, 2011

Average Contents

When I was a kid working in a corner shop, I noticed that tubs of cotton buds were labelled as containing '100 Cotton Buds'. 'Really?' I said to myself.  'You'd better be pretty damn sure of that, Mister Unilever. Or I'm going to sue your ass.'


Sure enough, one day Dustin Hoffmann came in to buy some fags. I opened a tub of cotton buds and poured them onto the counter in front of him. He said 'thirty-two, thirty-two, thirty-two. Ninety-six total.' He was right, and there was only one left in the box. Three less than promised! So I sued the corporation under the Weights and Measures Act of 1906 and won three thousand pounds. Now companies protect themselves by writing 'Average Contents - 100.' Makes sense, I guess.


Which brings us to this shoe box I saw today:


Average contents, 2
Guess I can't sue Puma, then, even if I get home and find there is only one shoe in my box.  So, what's next?  This trend has been taken to its logical conclusion.  There's nowhere left to go.


Right?


Wrong.


Here's a sneak preview of the future, my friends:


iPad with disclaimer
Mars with disclaimer
Birthday present with disclaimer

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