Thursday, March 29, 2012

Mastering Online Dating: Epilogue

Those of you who read my Mastering Online Dating series will know that things didn't get going until I got Cecile to set up a profile and send out messages pretending to be me. If women are better than men at writing to women, then the opposite must be true. Right?

When I visited Anaïs in Paris, I signed her up for OK Cupid to run a quick experiment. First I asked if she had a slutty photo. "Yes," she replied, instantly. It was a pic of her lounging on a deckchair by a swimming pool. She was in a bikini, and fellating the arm of her sunglasses. It was a nice mix of slutty and classy. But mostly slutty. Perfect.


"You know what?" I said. "Let's not even bother filling in the profile. Just height, that you don't smoke, and the languages you speak."

Done. "Now let's check out some guys." There were 37 pages of guys in Paris who had been online in the last week. "You have much more choice here than I do in Switzerland. I've got like two pages." I found a good-looking guy with a cool profile and wrote to him:

"Hey, I like your profile. Let's get a coffee and a muffin and go to a bookshop and choose books for each other."

Ten seconds later, we had a message. It was from some random guy. "Hey let's meet and have a casual flirt," he said. While I was checking his (sleazy) profile we got another message. Half an hour in, six guys had written to her. Six!

Finally, at the end of a long process, I had truly mastered online dating. The secret is simple - be a woman, and post a provocative picture.

Anais's boyfriend. Great sense of humour!
NOTE 29 March, 21:30 - Being a good sport, Anaïs gave me permission to use the 'slutty' photo on this post. So I was surprised to get a mail from her saying that her boyfriend was unhappy about it. "I want the photo removed not because I'm insecure and don't understand technology," said the boyfriend, who is probably called Francois-Francois. "It's just that the thought of other men looking at my smoking hot girlfriend fills me with a kind of nameless dread. Also, I believe that a photo, once loaded onto the internet, can easily be deleted and no-one will ever see it again. Thanks for removing it."

No problem!

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