Click here to read part one. I'm writing about the functions in the order I use them, not in numerical order.
It goes without saying that I prefer the British way, and when I'm done with my TV I'll carry it to a canal and chuck it in.
It took that long partly because after every step I took a break to play Skyrim on Xbox and partly because of Switzerland's strict noise pollution regulations. On weekdays you have to be quiet before 8am and after 10pm. On Sunday it's the whole day.
Some mornings you can see construction workers ready to drill holes in the streets, stood stock still, looking at their watches, waiting for the little hand to point to 8. My Swiss ex-girlfriend refused to do sex with me after 10pm in case the neighbours called the police. We had to start at quarter to ten at the latest to make sure we didn't break the law.
Punishments for breaking the noise rules are real and immediate. Police have a range of powers to deal with noise polluters, ranging from fines to the smashing up of stereo equipment with electrified batons.
In the 70s and early 80s, the fashion for taking late-night baths reached such proportions that the government was forced to act to stamp out bath noise. Now, all baths in flats have trapdoors which open at 45 decibels and anyone in the bath falls into a chute. These, famously, were the inspiration for a scene from The Matrix.