Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Dressaged to Kill

I just came home from a trip to England where my girlfriend was researching whether to buy a mechanical horse. She could use it to teach riding when the weather is bad, or if zombies eat all the real horses.

It looks like this:

"So what do you think?" I asked her after she'd tried it out.
"It's great!" she said. "I'm enthusiastic. But I might ask for one or two modifications."
"I know exactly what you mean."

BEHOLD - the robot horse of the future... TODAY

* Laser eyes powerful enough to melt shoes
* Front mounted rockets (stirrup-activated)
* Robot legs
* Side panels squirt squid ink or release tyre-popping tacks to cause traffic mayhem (ink sold separately)
* Satellite dish blocks enemy transmissions; gets sports channels
* Mace tail pulverizes enemy faces

"That's not exactly what I had in mind," said Jen. "I just wanted it in pink."


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