Sunday, June 08, 2014

100 Happy Days Part 5


I'm taking photos of things that make me happy. I explain why in part one, here. There's also parts twothree, and four.



Day 29


I felt sick so stayed home most of the day - missing the pub quiz run by my friend. He doesn't like being named on the internet so I'll call him 'The English Magnus Magnusson.'

Pub quizzes are fun, and TEMM does a world class job. He does 6 rounds with breaks to give you time to booze up, so Jen came home quite late. She told me the three questions she got right. 
"Three?" I said, surprised and impressed.
"Yes. I got Zinc, Chinchillas, and the last question."
"What was the last question?"
"The last question was, 'What was the answer to the first question in the first round?' I was the only one who remembered."
"That's diabolical," I said, smiling. "Pure evil."


Diabolical! I love it. Laughing out loudz!



Day 30


I was still poorly, but Jen forced me to go for a constitutional. We went to her stable and walked around with her horse while I asked questions like "Do horses go to heaven?" and "When your horse looks at me does he see a large hamburger?"

When we got home I was very tired and felt more ill and had regressed to the age of about 7 - I was whining, moaning, and feeling sorry for myself. So Jen offered to cheer me up with a home-made banana split.



That worked.



Day 31


Still quite ill, I had to go to one class which I couldn't cancel. I complained about being sick, saying how it was messing up my happiness project. The student asked about it, so I described it.

As I was talking, a random thought popped into my head and I laughed. It was the way a French acquaintance said the word 'happiness' (the acquaintance occasionally featured on this blog until she moved 18,376 kilometres away). "A penis is very important to me," she used to say. "There's nothing I want more than a penis. Why hare you laffink?"

Since this project requires photos for every happy moment, here's a picture which shows either happiness or a penis - depending on how awful you are:




Day 32

Fully recovered, walking home at lunchtime, I noticed some shenanigans up ahead. A trio of wannabe street toughs, approximate age 12, were pushing each other into the paths of pedestrians. After each successful shove, they descended into fits of giggles.

For a while it seemed like harmless tomfoolery, until they jostled an older woman with walking difficulties. They seemed to find her a hilarious target, and that triggered my righteous anger.

I walked in their direction and as I approached, one kid stopped, causing his mate to instinctively stop in my path. I had to admire the first kid's timing, but I was expecting it and already had my retaliation prepared. My hand was raised to "adjust my earphones" and I caught the second kid a whack in the head with my elbow.

The first kid found this hilarious, so the third kid turned round to see what was so funny. I pretended to look behind me - this action naturally brought my opposite arm up, where it connected with his obnoxious little skull.




Justice is the very essence of a happy society.


Day 33


I was sitting at my desk touch-typing like a troubadour. Jen came over to see what I was up to. I was working from some notes about the happiness project. The first one said 'a penis' (my note for Day 31).

"Huh?" she said.
"What?" I said.
"What's a penis?"
I just stared at her. Never interrupt your enemy when she's making a mistake.
She pressed on: "What's a penis? Why is it there?"
More staring.
"I want to know why you've got a penis!"

Seriously. That happened.

Another penis picture:






Day 34


When I was a kid, I'd get excited about a computer game and tell my mum how amazing it was. Paradroid! Lords of Chaos! Emlyn Hughes International Soccer! My goal, I guess, was to make her want to play it. She never did.

Eventually I stopped being evangelical about games.

Today I downloaded an iphone game so amazing I relapsed into a youthful state of pure whoop. Instead of telling Jen how great the game was, I placed my phone in her hand and told her I'd brush her teeth if she didn't play it.

Her reluctance lasted the ten seconds it took her to understand the game's ingenious concept. It was just as satisfying watching her solve the puzzles as it was solving them myself.

The game is called Monument Valley and it's very simple. You have a little character which you must move to the top of the screen. Each screen looks like a beautiful MC Escher drawing. There is dreamy music. A typical puzzle involves you rotating the view so that the perspective changes and a path at the bottom suddenly connects to one at the top.

Here's the first puzzle. Can you work out what to do?




Argh! It's so much fun. I'm literally rationing myself to one level per day because I know there aren't that many.


Day 35


Penis cat.





Progress after 35 days:

Mood: Half-full of vim and vinegar.

Compliments: "You weren't here last week? I didn't notice."
Optimism: I'm pretty sure the next 7 days will be better than this 7, because a) I won't be sick half the week and b) it's my birthday week! Yay!

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