Saturday, July 26, 2008

10 More Things I Learned in Switzerland

* Being 'blue-eyed' means being gullible.

* County Thurgau is known as the Apple Juice India, because it makes lots of apple juice and er... is shaped like India. The inhabitants of Thurgau are said to have evolved long fingers after many years of pickpocketing.

* One of the two main supermarkets sells neither alcohol nor cigarettes, because the founder believed they were harmful. The store does sell lego, blank DVDs, and stealth technology, so it's not like you can't have *any* fun.

* There is a few thousand tons of solid gold in a big vault under the main street in Zurich, Bahnhofstrasse. Hopefully one day I'll see a Die Hard 3-style escapade involving big trucks and cool diggers.

* Ronny Biggs is famous here, but the 'For Mash Get Smash' TV adverts from the 70s aren't.

* Tina Turner can't buy the fantasy house she rents. Swiss people don't like to sell land outside the family.

* The military, and I swear this is true, have a hollowed-out mountain full of planes and armies and shit.

* Most blocks of flats have fall-out shelters built into the basement.

* Swiss farmers, and once again I assure you I'm not making this up, love to wear cow-shaped earrings.

* It is considered unprofessional, in Zurich at least, for bankers to have a beard. Retail staff also shouldn't have beards. It's okay for homeless people and teachers though.

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