Time to set up my Plenty of Fish profile.
First I needed a username. This was huge. The right one might not generate a lot of interest, but the wrong one can be a dealbreaker.
I wanted to use sexy words like 'discover' and 'imagine'. Or maybe something romantic like 'Shining Knight'. I stared at the screen for about fifty minutes. It's harder than it seems to think up a name. Part of the problem was that everything had already been taken, even 'hot_teacher4u', so I had to be over-creative or use lots of numbers at the end of the username, as in Hot_Guy8888888888888.
I finally chose 'better_than_perfect' and also set up an email account with that name.
NOTE - you will get thousands of spammy mails from these websites, so set up a separate email account for it.
Surprisingly, the site wanted to know my income range and whether I was the oldest of my siblings. They claim it makes better search results. Porn sites give pretty good results without that info, but maybe it's different when finding true love.
I had to choose the headline that people would see, and write some info about myself.
BAD HEADLINES (real):
looking for gud relationship
am look for a virtures woman
fishing for my cousin (amazingly, the profile is dedicated to finding a date for his 'cousin'!)
I finally went with:
Headline: I'm too good for you(The text was based on a 'be a jerk' video that came up in my research - can't take all the credit).
Profile: I'm a selfish jerk. I look good in a shirt or a hoody. Young enough to do it. Old enough to do it right. I don't smoke. I'm lots of fun. I don't have time for petty drama or emotional hysterics. I'm intelligent and well-educated and don't care what anyone thinks of me. I do what I want, when I want - but you probably figured that out already.
If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this:
Handsome, cultured intellectual with perfect body and perfect technique seeks beautiful married woman to make her husband jealous. In return, I want diamonds, fast cars, and expensive meals.
If you think you could handle me, think again. But if you really insist on taking on a challenge you can't handle, get in touch.
Next, the photo. I chose one of me looking hot and emphasising the blueness of my eyes. It's me next to a hot girl, but I cropped her out. Nevertheless, you can see part of her face - enough to know that she's smoking hot. Ace psychology!
Then the site gave me a 40-question personality test. It didn't take long to do and the feedback was pretty 'accurate'. Things like, "You sometimes feel like the most attractive person on the train." Having said that, I recognised a lot of cold-reading material in there, so I was dubious about whether it was going to work or not.
Next - My first messages.